James has a decent job. He has an apartment he shares with his girlfriend. He's going to grad school. He is doing everything that he is “supposed” to do.
And he feels trapped.
James is 23 years old and works as a teacher in the New York City Department of Education. He is employed through a teaching program that places teachers in low-income areas nationwide.
James went to school for teaching, but he made his college experience into so much more than mere pursuit of a degree. He became both a tour guide and an RA at SUNY Binghamton, and took personal pride in witnessing prospective students he had seen in the spring move into his building in the fall. James, along with several other students, founded a new club called Explorchestra, an orchestra that only plays music composed by the students. This club, which is still around and still exploring new forms of music today, has had a huge influence on the lives of its members.
“Many of the people who wrote music for the club had never composed before,” James says. “My one friend totally changed his life trajectory because of this club and became a Music Psychology major.”
James carries this love of music through his life, although its absence is agony.
“I haven't written a note in eighteen months and it's been awful.”
James became interested in the teaching program while in college, and applied as soon as he graduated in 2012. The program wanted to place him in Arizona, but when his mother was suddenly diagnosed with cancer, James chose instead to stay close to home, declining the offer. He took two part time jobs, both as an associate at a major pet supply store and as a teller in a local credit union.
“I used to work at a convenience store and I thought the worst smell was the garbage there,” James says. “It's not. The worst smell in the world is that ferret cage,”
In between the jobs, James had a great deal of free time. He filled it with creation. He wrote and recorded his eighth and ninth albums. These albums are dark, directly inspired by his experiences at the pet store. He succeeded in his personal challenge of writing one poem a day for an entire year and published a blog full of poetry. He continued his high school hobby of developing unique board and card games and testing them with his friends. These games were better, more refined than the ones he had created as a teenager and he wondered if he could build a future for himself using these little building blocks of creativity.
“Creation is my life blood,” he says. “Having no free time to create makes me feel unproductive.”
The second time he applied to the teaching program, they placed him in New York City. He took the job and moved with his girlfriend to their current apartment in the Bronx. They live near Fordham University, where James goes to grad school. But attending this school was not a choice.
“The program is great, I mean, they pay for 90% of your master's. But the school they chose is expensive and they only pay for as long as you stick with them. If I get kicked out or something happens and I have to drop the program, I'm suddenly unemployed and $40,000 in debt.”
New York is an expensive city to live in, and although he works full time he still hasn't saved much. Teaching is a job that he has to bring home with him, and he admits that sometimes, without his outlet of music or poetry, he lets the pressure get to him.
“I just feel like I need some free time back.”
Despite the difficulties, there is still creation. James finds time in between writing lesson plans and grading essays to work on building card and board games. He is starting a game company with friends from college. The have a website launch next month and are planning a Kickstarter to fund their first game in January.
He has also just returned from a reunion with many alumni of the Explorchestra in. Binghamton. They met with the current members to play music together. He is impressed with the direction in which the student composers have taken the club.
“One kid had this awesome hip-hop arrangement he was setting up,” he says with a smile. Seeing how something he created has blossomed and grown is nothing short of incredible.
James' career is looking up as well. Having already completed one year of teaching in a challenging environment, he is beginning this year with far more confidence and finds teaching much more enjoyable.
He is currently developing a game about medieval siege weaponry and cats. It is called 'Cataclysm' and features cat puns on every card.
You can find James' music and poetry at the links below, and as soon as the Kickstarter for his first game is up, you can bet we will let you know.
SoundDrawn
ItswhoIAMB
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